Thanks Sbird, Atomic Mama, and Walternatives for welcoming me back so quickly after I wrote my last post. That was a very pleasant surprise:-) I don’t have much time to write, but I wanted to give a brief update on what’s been going on these past few months while I was away from the blogging world.
1) It turns out that one can develop post-partum issues after a miscarriage (who knew?). I had postpartum anxiety for about 6-7 weeks at the beginning of my semester. It sucked. So did the postpartum hair loss. If I had to suffer through post-partum issues, it would have been nice to at least have gotten a baby out of it all.
2) We did another FET last month and it didn’t work. It also turns out that Lupron gives me blood pressure/vascular problems, which I am still dealing with.
3) The first draft of my book manuscript is due in 3-4 weeks. If I’m not posting much until then, this is probably why.
4) A lesson that I recently learned: It was probably a bad idea to do another FET while recovering from post-partum anxiety and trying to finish my book manuscript all at the same time. Oh, and not taking more than a day off at a time from work and/or fertility things in over a year probably didn’t help matters.
5) Assuming that I have no major health issues, I’m feeling relaxed about (or am officially done with) the book, and my hormones are back in balance, we’ll probably do our last IVF cycle in late spring summer. If it doesn’t work, we’ll turn to Plan D, whatever that is.
6) The state of China adoption is really depressing. We’re most likely at least three years away from a referral, assuming the program doesn’t end before this.
7) Snow Monkey and I are going on our first vacation in over a year after my book is done. From February 14-18, we’re going to Charleston, SC for four nights and three days. Woo Hoo!
Infertility can really suck the life out of a person. After three years of trying to start a family with no success, I’m feeling pretty worn down. My resolution this year is to get out of my funk and do a better job at not letting life pass me by while we wait for a child to come into our lives.
9) I discovered my new favorite chocolate this fall. Green and Black’s 70% dark organic.
10) I have returned to Quaker meeting after four years away from it. It feels good to be back. Although I have to find a way to stay connected to my buddhist practice and community. I am a member of my buddhist group and run the children’s program. So I’m not sure how this all is going to turn out.
11) I realized this week that my window for finding pants that fit me is officially over. For the past five years, I have been able to find pants–mainly at Ann Taylor Loft–that fit great. This past weekend, I went pants shopping for the first time in several years and NOTHING at any store fit me. Not jeans, not work pants, nothing. I’m sure I’ll find something at some point, but the days of strolling into Ann Taylor Loft, pulling a pair a pants off the rack, and doing a quick fit before buying them are a thing of the past. Wah.
12) Speaking of books (See #5), Snow Monkey’s book is out. Search for it by typing his name into Amazon.com
13) I think that it is for now.
January 9, 2008 at 1:12 am
Welcome back. I’ve been waiting, as well.
I’m sorry about the post partum issues. I also had PPD following my miscarriage. I was healing, and then suddenly it was like the floor fell out from beneath me. It was really, really bad. Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and therapy helped until my hormones got back on track. Thankfully I haven’t had any relapses since, something that I’ve been afraid of happening.
Good luck with your book!
January 9, 2008 at 8:07 am
Hey! Thanks for coming back to my blog. I remember you mentioning the PPD possibillity this summer after my miscarriage, but I sort of dismissed it (sorry), as I thought everything was fine. But about 5-6 weeks after the miscarriage, it was exactly how you described it –”the floor fell out from beneath me.” I think the fact that I was experiencing all the hormone imbalances right as I was starting up my semester and was facing the daunting task to finishing my book really was a bit too much at the time. I worked through it with a therapist (I had to change alot of thinking patterns related to how I viewed my sense of self in relation to my work), but I don’t think I was fully back to hormonal normalacy when started my last FET cycle, as that was a disaster of side effects.
The only major relapse I had was when I was on Lupron and I had no estrogen in me. Once I started to get estrogen again, the anxiety went away.
I’m glad that you’re doing well:-)
January 9, 2008 at 9:42 am
And we thought you were just eating bon-bons on the sofa this whole time… (jk!). What makes me most happy is to hear about the impending vacation – yay! Have fun – you so deserve that break! And congrats to S.M. on the book.
January 9, 2008 at 4:06 pm
It’s lovely to hear your (bloggy) voice again, although I’m sorry to hear about the PPD. Hope you have a fantastic time in Charleston!
January 9, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I had forgotten I mentioned it! I don’t even know if there is anything you can do to avoid it. After my second pregnancy, I was able to breastfeed and I do think that helped a lot since it keeps the hormones steadier. But after a miscarriage, when you are fighting both a drop in hormones and a less than stellar attitude about life in general, I am just not sure how one is supposed to avoid PPD. Perhaps hormone therapy and a just-in-case prescription of anxiety and anti-depressant meds are the only answer.
My sister was just diagnosed with blighted ovum after her first IVF cycle and I am worried about the same thing happening to her.
Congrats on your husband’s book, as well.
Any thoughts on trying domestic adoption? I am not sure if you’ve written about that in the past. I know it can take a long time to get an infant, and there are additional risks with birth parents being nearby, but perhaps it would be a shorter timeframe than what you would be looking at with China (or any of the other countries, as I have read they are all scaling back).
January 9, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Hi everyone! I promise to get over to your blogs soon. I haven’t been doing the blogging thing for ages, so I’m behind on everybody’s latest happenings.
AM: I wish I had been sitting around eating bon bons. LOL. Maybe I’ll do that after my book is done.
EM: We have considered domestic, among other things. We are in the process of deciding what Plan D will be in the next IVF doesn’t work or if we decide not to do it for health reasons. So we’ll get this all figured out over the course of the next few months. I don’t think we would try to pursue another international adoption.
SB: How is Emme Lu doing?