Check out the latest in infertility-themed greeting cards that A Little Pregnant put up on her site. This one is my current fav:
I also like this one:
February 23, 2007
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- February 23, 2007 at 10:49 pm
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Zen Mama
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February 23, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Being such a cheerleader for adoption, I have to admit that I’ve said that last one before, hopefully with tact, but I’ve said something very similar. Sorry.
February 24, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Ahhh, the first one has many memories with it… thanks for sharing! 🙂
February 24, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Oh boy. All too familiar…
February 26, 2007 at 11:50 am
Ya know, I was thinking recently that you and I fall into a very small category: trying both (all?) options simultaneously. Most folks seem to close the books on ART and then move to adoption. I’ve been wondering some about how that simultaneity affects us or shapes our philosophy/attitude to parenthood. Any thoughts on that, or am I just thinking too much?
February 26, 2007 at 8:07 pm
LOL! People suck and yet we love them so, yes?
February 28, 2007 at 9:10 am
Love the first card–though I can think of a few more to add to it
March 1, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Christine–I don’t think that there is anything inherently wrong with asking people if they have considered adoption. I think what matters is the context–that is, when it is done, how it is done, etc.
I think the main problem that the statement “Why don’t you just adopt?” is that it suggests that 1) adoption is an easy process emotionally, finacially,time-wise, etc., when in fact, it’s often not. Saying “Why don’t you just adopt?” makes it sound like you just decide one day, “Gee, I think I’ll adopt a child today,” and then you go down to your local adoption agency, look through a folder of photos, and say “I’ll take that one” and voila–you have your child.
2) The other problem with the “Why Don’t you just adopt?” question is assumes that adoption is basically the same as having a bio kid (which, to be sure, it is in many respects) without also considering that parenting an adopted child is different in other respects than parenting a bio kid. One doesn’t “just adopt”; One has to be ready to adopt and decide that they they are prepared to deal with attachments issues, questions about and possible dealings with birth parents, etc.
Linda: No you’re not thinking too much, as we thought about that issue ourselves. Going into the IVF, we felt that we were probably less stressed about it precisely because we knew that we still had the adoption process going on and that we didn’t have all our eggs, so to speak, in one basket. Deciding to do the the IVF also took the stress off the adoption process for the same reasons. That said, once we got into the thick of the IVF, the comfort of having the adoption going disappeared, and all I have felt is IVF stress. Now, it’s possible that I’d be feeling more stressed or a different kind of stress if all we were doing is the IVF, but because that’s not our situation I don’t know what that would be like. But I suppose that it is possible that the adoption has helped to mitigate some of the recent IVF-related stress in ways that I am not aware of.